God, I’ve been feeling so far and far away from him. I don’t know why, but.. it can be because he doesn’t feeling the same feels like we used to in the past ? Is he losing some amounts of his love for me ? Or… am i too sensitive to feel this way like before ?
Well, my parents is some kind like strict to me that I’m just fifteen and should just worry about school, school…and school. But, are they thinking that I need kinds of support too ? They aren’t be there for me if I need them. They will scold me like I’m the only one who should be blame of all the mistakes. They KNOW nothing about me and my life. And my boyfriend did better than them, HE DID BETTER THAN MY PARENTS, REALLY A LOT. They won’t know about the problems hanging in my mind if I don’t tell them directly. My boyfriend always know my matters, he knows me so really-really well and my parents DONT. If sharing is the best solution to my problems then you’ll get nothing from me. My parents feel like they are the only right human, and consider that everybody is wrong! Everyone must step the same path as them. How selfish if they didn’t get try to see something from my point of view.
Should they be happy if a boy, who’s known well as a kind, smart and brave boy comes to their house and introduced him-self as their daughter boyfriend ? Puh-lease, not many boys have brave minds to come to a girl house and talk to her parents, right ? If they don’t like him, so…
Now, I’m feeling guilty. No, not because I feel so wrong to deny my parents orders.. I just think, that I’m the gloomiest girl ever life in this kind of world. My parents don’t support me anymore, instead they are thinking that they’ve been filling up their daughter needs. They haven’t anymore. HAVE NOT.
I’m feeling guilty to my boyfriend, he waits me… he waits me till my parents accept him. He waits me till my parents completely want him to be in my side. But, what can I do ? I do know nothing. I don’t know what to do and it’s feeling so unfair to see his efforts and I did nothing for him. Could I exchange my parents, God ? Could I ? Who’ll understand me no matter what happens ?
I hope they will try to think about me, to think about… my feeling. I need someone who cares a lot and supports me whenever and wherever I need it. And, I NO FOUND IT IN MY PARENTS. I always feeling worried if I want to ask them something, afraid of being scold, afraid of being wrong in their sight, afraid of being too…helpless.
Well, maybe I’m not a good daughter for them. I can’t get the best rank like my sister did in the last exams. I can’t fulfill up their wish to be A+ in tuitions, but could they hear me now and try to understand ? I need acceptance. I need acceptance that I need my boyfriend to come over in my life. If they keep making me hanging my feeling, then they should worry about the achievement I’ll have later. I might be too overact over this matters, but can you just listen me ?
I really have a lot matters to share.